Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in twitchthegoblyn's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
4:56 am	So every time I get someone a gift I always end up spending a lot of time thinking about it. But I have one gift for someone I can't stop worrying about. I don't have a ton of money this year, so I'm trying to find ways around being able to give nice gifts without spending a ton of money. One of the gifts I got someone is slightly used off ebay. It's super nice - way nicer then anything else even close I would have been able to buy them new (I spent 20 on it, new it's around 200 but the sucker forgot to put a reserve price on it). So on one hand I'm really excited that I am able to get something that nice for someone, but I'm worried that it's tacky or I'm going to offend him/her by the fact that the gift isn't brand new. do you think it's acceptable to give someone something for christmas that's used if it's still in really nice condition? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
7:48 am	nanowrimo so while trying to fall asleep last night, I had an idea for a novel pop into my head randomly. Here is the concept I have so far... man working at an insurance agent wife left him because of his drug problem- major pot head he has a daughter he hasn't seen since she was a toddler his daughter is now fourteen while he is processing claims he comes across a medical claim for his daughter for cancer treatment he confronts his wife who tells him to leave their daughter alone he doesn't listen and starts sneaking into her hospital room they reconnect behind her mother's back while going through chemo, she is having a lot of problems dealing with the side effects he starts sharing his marijuana stash with her in order to help her deal with the side effects because of the things he has read about medical marijuana, which is not legal in his state ending? title is "Tokin' of love" 1. what do you think of the idea? 2. I don't read many of these types of books, this hasn't already been done, has it? despite the fact I have no time, I think I'm going to start doing Nanowrimo, I am kind of wanting this to get all down on paper.... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
9:37 am	just got back from the doctors. they took two whole vials of blood out of me. They are going to test my thyroid and like twelve other things. red bloods cells, white blood cells, water levels, a slew of different nutrients, iron, a few other things. results are suppose to be emailed to me tomorrow. I thought that was strange- we have gone to emailing medical info? (Comment on this)
Monday, October 26th, 2009
3:16 am	health problem or going crazy? So my therapist i have been seeing wants me to go in for a hypothyroidism test. I really am hoping I don't have a problem because i don't want to be stuck on meds for an extended period of time. But I decided to look up some stuff and its strange how many of those symptoms I can see in myself. Being tired- I am sleeping an average of fifteen hours a night, weight gain (25 lbs in the last year without changing how i'm eating), cold hands (which I have become known for with my friends), anxiety and depression (which could be the root cause of all of this), hair loss (really started freaking me out when my hair started coming out in clumps at a time...), joint pain (including being tested three times for juvenile arthritis), decreased libido (having sex maybe once a month while in possession of a hot boyfriend), trouble focusing (taking me three or hour hours to complete an easy assignment). But I have been able to come up with reasons that all these things could have occurred independently. On the other hand- if there was one pill that could control all these things that feel like they are destroying my life- that would be the most reliving thing I think I could hear. That could potentially mean that I'm not just lazy and going insane with my crazy sleep needing, anxiety attacks, weight gain, ect. And I would love to get some of the thickness of my hair back, its getting so thin for me, i'm shedding everywhere, and there is enough weight when a clump comes out that I can feel it in the back of my shirt ewwww. I've also found out that the fact that I use to starve myself could have caused/make it come out. So I haven't been able to get it off of my mind, hoping that writing about it will help with me turning my attention to other things and get it off my chest.I have to set up a doctors appointment still. Will probebly do that tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about trying to talk to the doctor, get them to actually take me seriously, and hopefully give me a test. I've never had to talk to a doctor about much other then getting a cold and I have heard a lot of horror stories about doctor/ patient communications (thanks medical sociology!) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 18th, 2009
12:47 am	Furious. angry. hurt. I have no rights to my feelings and yet they are still there. I wish I could turn them off. I feel crazy. And if I can't, I wish I knew how to hide them better. Squealing tires and blaring music when you leave has a tendency of being off putting. but i'm so angry. i don't know how to help myself. but i'm so so so so angry. and no way to show it. and no one to talk to about it. and no reason to really be to begin with. but i'm still fuming (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 15th, 2009
1:16 am	So I spend most of my time in class, doing homework, basically focusing on school. Sociology major. I have things I am curious about that i can't find the answers to that are sociological. But I feel like that because it is not the topics being covered in class I shouldn't go to my teachers office hours and ask if they know any thing about theories that would relate to it. I don't want to waste my professors time, and I think that most of them would feel that way because I was bugging their paper grading time with asking things that have no relation to anything that is my current level of study. The only two classes that could possibly relate to the topics I'm not in. But i know which professors in the department would be the ones to go to on it. Why does actual learning have to not be promoted? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 14th, 2009
12:45 am	"And don't spend your time lookin' around For something you want that can't be found When you find out you can live without it And go along not thinkin' about it I'll tell you something true The bare necessities of life will come to you" (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 23rd, 2009
11:47 am	So i had something and got rid of it. Now someone I know is getting the same thing and it really upsets me...for some reason that i can't even comprehend. My brain makes no sense anymore. my heart hurts (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
4:07 am	OMG IF I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ONE MORE EMOTION I'M GOING TO EXPLODE!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 13th, 2009
10:41 am	my whole life has been topsy turvy all week. I haven't felt anything but a mix of terror and depression. I hate that I have made up my mind, and have made up my mind to not change my mind even in the face of so much questioning and uncertainty. But if I allowed myself to continue looking at options and to keep wondering what if what if and maybes then I would never get anything done and I would never make an actual decision. And with these decisions being very time oriented and important, I don't have that luxury. So I have to keep my mind set and not look back. Which is terrifying. What if I don't make the right choice- this isn't something I can ever take back and I don't want to regret my choices for the rest of my life. Down to 24 hours before i jump in head first (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 21st, 2009
12:42 am	Offically made the Sociology major! Best night ever last night, stayed up all night letting the good times roll. About to go to springwars tomorrow ! Nate is in front of me working on my new sheild, and we are watching underworld drinking milkshakes. Overall, good mood (Comment on this)
Monday, May 4th, 2009
10:25 am	the soreness in my arm keeps reminding me that there is more to life then this rat race, despite feeling so very hectic right now (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
10:39 pm	Just a few more days....Just a few more days....Just a few more days.... (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
12:38 pm	so i have had a stomach ache for almost 2 weeks now. It's under my rib cage on the right side and is CONSTANTLY just achy and annoying. And then a couple times a day it gets really stabby for like 15 seconds and then goes back to being achy. And it makes me not want to eat anything. It's driving me up the wall but i really hate going to the doctor. any ideas? (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
2:08 pm	RIP http://pantagraph.com/articles/2009/04/21/news/doc49ee0e1c72d2c759138436.txt (Comment on this)
Monday, April 20th, 2009
11:50 am	First of all- Facebook is not for letting people know certain things. Some things deserve a phone call. No excuses. Second- how is it possible that I feel somewhat sad despite such little contact over the last half a decade Third- there has to be something somewhat ironic about the fact that I have spent the last three years working with people over 75 and the only people that I have known who have passed away during that time period were under 30 (Comment on this)
Friday, March 13th, 2009
1:14 pm	spring break definetly turned into catch up on errands week... so sad (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
8:19 am	I seriously haven't been doing so hot lately. I just need a break (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 6th, 2009
9:43 am	This morning isn't start out very well. Had to wake up 3 hours early to take Nate to work, went to my parents house to do laundry and the machine was broken, came home to try and study and realized I forgot my book at my parents house. Got on the computer and a piece of the casing broke off (if my laptop breaks I don't know what I'm going to do. I HAVE to have it for school and there is no way I can afford a new one). Gotta work in an hour, pick up Nate, then off to a meeting. bleh. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 4th, 2009
11:26 am	25 things I'm bored before class....so I'm giving in. I doubt it will take an hour though lol 1. When I was eight, I almost cut off my leg falling off the monkey bars onto a broken part of the swing set. It took over a hundred stiches to stitch me back up and 20 shots of numbing stuff, but the money from the company who made the swing set bought me a new play ground that was three times the size. (we didn't buy from the same company). My mom heard me screaming outside but didn't believe I was hurt that bad and made me army crawl the fifty feet back to my house bleeding. Then she saw the blood and helped me.... 2. I always acted like I was so depressed in high school, looking back, it was the happiest times of my life so I don't see what I was so emo about except the fact that I was 16. 3. I am one of the worst cooks ever. Don't eat my food, despite how proud of it I'll act 4. I seem to have really bad luck with fire....I have no clue why. I think I'm being careful 5. If you ever need an icepack during the summer, find me. My hands will still be ice cold, regardless of the temperature that I'm in. I'm also a heat vampire 6. when I woke up from getting my wisdom teeth out, I turned to my mom and started signing since I was afraid to talk. But I was so drugged she couldn't comprehend a thing I was saying. I do not remember any of this, but apparently I was angry. 7. As a kid I saved my money religiously. When I had enough to buy what I was saving for, I always cried when I handed the money to the cashier because I had worked so hard and saved so long it felt like I was mourning giving it up. 8. Until I was in high school, I averaged about 20 performances a year, since I was 4. I can't even count how much of my time was spent in rehearsals. Most of that was for the GIANT Christmas pageant my church put on, but I also had dance and piano in there too. 9. In high school I was severely addicted to never winter nights. That's probably the big reason why I won't try WOW- supposedly its more addictive then that... 10. I started off ISU as a vocal major, then undecided so I went to HCC. While I was at HCC I seriously wanted to be (in order) a teacher, a speech therapist, a physical therapist,and a psychologist. Now I'm in the sociology major at ISU and I'm really hoping I don't change my mind...again 11. I really do feel like its my calling to work with the elderly 12. I have been working on and off as a gymnastics instructor since I was fifteen. Every time I quit I say I'm never doing it again, but every time I always end up going back. Its a love-hate relationship 13. I can make my feet touch the back of my head if I'm lying down on my stomach 14. I love playing with the juggling arts. the one I will never be able to do is juggle lol 15. i think I'm the only person i know that doesn't like gravy 16. every time I need to restart my life, the only way i know how to do so is to go to tae kwon do class 17. I am allergic to metal, including surgical steel 18. Most people know I'm mexican, but i am also an 1/8th Cherokee 19. Both of my biological grandfathers died while my parents were just kids 20. I have the same friends that I had in first grade as i do now (i have just added a lot). I don't think that many people can say that. I graduated high school and partied with my friends from elementary school. I'm going to be in my best friend since first grades wedding in less then six months. I love having so many memories with one person 21. I have the most protective big brothers known to man 22. I have two chinchillas and a guinea pig that I spoil and am more protective then most parents with their biological children. Yes, that means they drink filtered water 23. I am horrible at math, but surprisingly good at accounting. So long as its not my money 24. I grew up in a town, but I also milked cows, played on a farm, and was in 4H due to having the farm kids shipped in from the country to our school. I still love the smell of hay and feel I would be happier if I lived on a farm 25. I get to go on my first vacation (minus events) in years over spring break. Its only to Chicago but I'm super excited. I can't remember the last time I stayed in a hotel -I'm not gonna tag anyone...do it if you want to (1 Comment |Comment on this)